Micah-ness

Yesterday was the second appointment with Micah's counselor at the outpatient program he's in. The first went well, with us determining some specific goals for Micah. This one, not quite as well.

Jessica began by talking about how Micah had received $50 from relatives this weekend and that she had told him not to spend it. Of course he did, immediately, but Jessica did not penalize him for that-I asked her if she took away what Micah had purchased, and she said that she did not as they were out of town.

The conversation seemed to keep going this way...she brought up how Micah will threaten to not eat if she doesn't trim the fat from the meat he has on his plate, and, how "he won't let her" (recurring theme here) not do it. April, the counselor, agreed with me that if Micah decides he won't eat because he doesn't want to cut his own food, that is his choice, and he probably won't make that choice again, after going hungry.

She also has serious problems getting to do his homework, as he rushes through it. My suggestion was to keep having him redo it until he gets it right. She did have a good point in that by the evening, his medication is mostly out of his system. However, it still does not sound like she is standing firm on him doing his work, doing it right and not doing anything else until it gets done.

She also spoke about how Micah won't let her take a time out for herself. It was just painful to hear, over and over, how he has control of the situation and she won't exert her authority more...

In other news, we got more planted in the community garden-G picked out some peanut plants and a watermelon to add. Um and I are going to have to put down a layer of mulch, i'm thinking. At breakfast on Saturday, we went over to Kris and Um's house to cook. Their friends Brie and Chris were visiting and it didn't take long to note the similarities between Brie and Kris, as they mauled me verbally about my pancake cooking skills.

Sadly, my comebacks were so not up to par. I even had to resort to wiping, with a spatula no less, pancake grease onto Kris, at which time she elbowed me in the chest. The joys of that pseudo brother/sister relationship...

Monday evening, we congregated again at Kris and Jerry's, this time with Cardi, Jeannette, their adorable daughter Leah, and Becky joining us. It was really nice to see everyone, and to hear that Becky finished her master's!

In house news, we haven't run the dryer in a week and a half and are using the heck out of our clothes line. I know it's silly, but it is such a good feeling. Granted, we don't have a ton of laundry either, which helps. We also did most of the baseboards in the bedroom, with only one area of wall left by the bathroom, which is still under construction. We also hung the curtains in the bedroom, making it much darker! I'm pondering the idea of a steampunk curtain rod, made from copper and brass fittings....possibly with interior lighting...hee hee.

Allright, to work.

Great weekend...had a really enjoyable dinner with Kris, Jerry and all the youngin's. The more Um and I talk about Oregon, and doing the whole organic farming, B&B, vintning (is that really a word?) the more exciting it sounds...We were discussing how it seems like a lot of I.T. folks really want to get back to working in the dirt...G disagree's, but none of us have anything like evidence, other than personal experience. So far.
Micah did great at the Scott's...and at G's uncle's house for a party on Saturday, to celebrate her great uncle's 90th birthday. He's still amazingly active and aware-he always asks me how Roger is doing.
Yesterday, we spent some time at the Scott's community garden, which we have joined in! It was definitely work, hauling dirt and mulch, but very fun.
Today, insanity rules in the workplace, but that's business as usual. I recall taking two sleeping pills last night and did wind up getting some good rest.
Ginger is being my hero with planning for Micah's visit this summer..I'm still worried that he'll have a tough time, but I'm very optimistic that he can do well, if he sets his mind to it and we handle it properly.

Micah update...long and painful...

Yesterday, Micah had the day off of school. He’s still been having problems in school with violent outbreaks. He has kicked a teacher and had repeated problems with the YMCA daycare staff, prior to moving him to a different daycare.

Over this last weekend, we were babysitting for Kris and Jerry. I had asked Micah three times to specifically pick up all the toys in the living room. After the third time, I sent him to time out. After sitting on his own for a few minutes, he got more and more angry, being very rude and disrespectful, saying that he had put all the toys up.

I took his hand and began walking towards the living room to show him the staggering array of toys that were spread out across the floor. He got even more angry and hit me in the leg. After that, he went straight to time out, and then I sent him to bed. He did apologize later, after he had had time to cool off. It was also an unprompted apology. We had a good discussion about how he is the only one that can control his anger and that this was a really good example of him allowing himself to lose control.

We had numerous talks over the weekend, as he has also been fixating on guns and weapons. Part of that is my fault-On Friday we had a fun Nerf gun battle, and I’ve been teaching him the rudiments of using a sword with foam/pvc practice swords. It’s been a good interaction time with him, and has been helpful in discussing how even people that are fighting each other can respect one another.

We also discussed how important it is to create things, such as with Lego’s and our imagination-that if all you think about is destruction, you become desensitized to it.

Upon the urging of Micah’s psychiatrist, who according to Jessica, strongly suggested that we enroll him in an out-patient program before his school called CPS to become involved, we set up an appointment at The Sundance Center.

Yesterday, Monday, I drove Micah to the Sundance Center for an evaluation prior to admitting him. At Jessica’s request, I didn’t tell him what we were doing or where we were going. When we got there, we told him together and he very adamantly said that he didn’t want to go into the program. He was angry and defiant prior to the interview, intentionally spilling gatoraide on himself and refusing to listen to us. Upon telling him to hand over his notepad until he could behave, he repeatedly said “no” and then threw his pencil across the room.

When the interview began, Micah was noisy and disruptive. Upon being questioned about what brought him here, he spoke about being violent, tearing up a room at school and kicking his teacher. Upon being asked if he ever heard voices, he was emphatic that he did, and that they told him to do things and that there was a war going on in his head. He also stated that he sees flashes of things that aren’t there. He drew a picture of “sainthan” (supposed to be Satan) as an example of what he thinks he is seeing.

I could not tell if he was telling the truth or not. He also spoke about magic and his belief in it.

Additionally, he spoke briefly about other kids calling him names, especially at his former daycare, such as “whitey.” Apparently, he was strongly in the minority there, with very little observable structure. He is meeting with more success at his new daycare.

Upon questioning us regarding previous treatments, such as the Excel Center in 2007, Jessica specifically admitted to having trouble being consistent and following contracts. At this point, also, I learned that they do not allow Micah to have his bedroom door closed at their house. I informed Jessica that I had not known that, and would henceforth follow her lead on that to stay consistent between houses. Also, discussed was Jessica’s rule about Micah not sleeping with them, or laying down with him to help him go to sleep. The compromise they have at their house is that, when Micah goes to bed, Jessica and Steve go upstairs to their bedroom. I noted that, at Jessica’s request, I did not let Micah sleep with us either, but that I would sit with him and check on him when he is having difficulty sleeping.

We discussed what happened at St. Marks last summer, when he was frightened by a ventriloquist and threatened to bring “daddy’s shotgun” and kill him. He seemed sorry about it, but not excessively so.

I don’t think he is suffering from schizophrenia, but an over-active imagination coupled with a need or desire to shock people into getting attention.

After I left to return to Dallas, and Jessica and Micah were leaving, he finally came to the realization that he was there to be admitted to an out-patient program. In front of the counselor, he began stating that he would rather kill himself than go to Sundance. This behavior continued on the way home with his mother, at which point she called me, in tears and near hysterics.

I was able to assist in calming both of them down, and Micah realized how hurtful that was and eventually apologized and promised that he would never kill himself. This was after we told him that we would have to put him into a hospital where he wouldn’t be able to come home each day if he kept on making threats on his own life.

He begged not to go to the program, asking us to “trust him” but I had to tell him that we can’t trust him on this and that he must earn our trust by developing the skills needed to control himself and his anger. We tried to put a positive shape to his going to this program in hopes of getting him to feel better.

Oddly, immediately on arriving home, I heard him ask his mother if he could go to his friend’s house, and he sounded normal, despite being nearly hysterical less than two minutes previously.

I phoned again at 7:30 and checked on them-they were doing better, although Jessica began to cry again and Micah was very apologetic.

That’s where we stand currently.